Silco (
conflictresolution) wrote in
expiationlogs2023-12-18 09:52 pm
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Entry tags:
[Closed Log]
Who: Jinx & Silco
Where: Aldrip - Outside City Hall
What: Jinx comes to pick up Silco from his sentencing. She isn't pleased, and neither is he.
Warnings: None yet
[It had occurred to him that he would garner a trip to sentencing faster than some, especially as he encrouched on businesses. The fact that what had him being pulled in was defending his daughter in a very Zaun way was rather insulting. He was no stranger to committing crimes, but bribery for the sake of his only child? This Council had no idea what it was dealing with, but he would make certain to give them a crash course in the near future.
Yet, he couldn't recall all that much about the Council or the sentencing itself. As soon as he was dragged across the City Hall main entrance barrier, the experience was confusing and jumbled, which annoyed him now that he was being shoved out the door. Sentence laid down, but it would take him time to sit down and piece together all that had happened to him in the last twenty-four hours.
Silco stepped out of the City Hall and stopped, reaching up the adjust his tie and straighten his coat. The black was covered in dirt from the road and his various tussles from being dragged from Rumpitur to Aldrip. His right eye was blackened and old blood flaked from the gash at his brow, giving his already distinct look even more distinction. The corners of his mouth were chapped and bruised from being gagged roughly for the trip.
He forced himself to walk normally despite some choice bruises here and there, and he was used to hiding or overriding the pain of injuries. He walked down the stairs, spotting his daughter. Her expression told him all that he needed to know about her mood, and if she was outraged over his treatment or sentencing, it was mixed in with her overall displeased expression.
He walked over to her and came to a stop in front of her, giving her appearance a look over. Something had happened. She had 'friends' and a 'boyfriend', so his leaving shouldn't have left her in complete isolation. Of course, the sister had left to come to Rumpitur, so that was one less individual she could spend time with.]
Are you alright, Jinx?
[Discussions of various revenge plots would have to wait until he had performed a check in. That expression meant trouble if allowed to go unchecked.]
Where: Aldrip - Outside City Hall
What: Jinx comes to pick up Silco from his sentencing. She isn't pleased, and neither is he.
Warnings: None yet
[It had occurred to him that he would garner a trip to sentencing faster than some, especially as he encrouched on businesses. The fact that what had him being pulled in was defending his daughter in a very Zaun way was rather insulting. He was no stranger to committing crimes, but bribery for the sake of his only child? This Council had no idea what it was dealing with, but he would make certain to give them a crash course in the near future.
Yet, he couldn't recall all that much about the Council or the sentencing itself. As soon as he was dragged across the City Hall main entrance barrier, the experience was confusing and jumbled, which annoyed him now that he was being shoved out the door. Sentence laid down, but it would take him time to sit down and piece together all that had happened to him in the last twenty-four hours.
Silco stepped out of the City Hall and stopped, reaching up the adjust his tie and straighten his coat. The black was covered in dirt from the road and his various tussles from being dragged from Rumpitur to Aldrip. His right eye was blackened and old blood flaked from the gash at his brow, giving his already distinct look even more distinction. The corners of his mouth were chapped and bruised from being gagged roughly for the trip.
He forced himself to walk normally despite some choice bruises here and there, and he was used to hiding or overriding the pain of injuries. He walked down the stairs, spotting his daughter. Her expression told him all that he needed to know about her mood, and if she was outraged over his treatment or sentencing, it was mixed in with her overall displeased expression.
He walked over to her and came to a stop in front of her, giving her appearance a look over. Something had happened. She had 'friends' and a 'boyfriend', so his leaving shouldn't have left her in complete isolation. Of course, the sister had left to come to Rumpitur, so that was one less individual she could spend time with.]
Are you alright, Jinx?
[Discussions of various revenge plots would have to wait until he had performed a check in. That expression meant trouble if allowed to go unchecked.]
no subject
How long has he been ignoring you for? As for your sister, she was busy marching down the Rumpitur and back again with the enforcer. [He paused to consider for a moment.] You do have a particular taste in 'friends'.
[He made a low hmmm noise again, taking his time to think.]
The stupid crap being Rumpitur and the kidnappings?
no subject
Yeah, that. I've tried to sprucin' up this place with my art 'cause everyone was so down and dumps. ... And I got yelled at for it. Said I oughta stop and think for a second... care what everyone else is feelin', have empathy or whatever.
( just replaying that conversation with ange brings back the bitter taste in her mouth. and she tries to lick it away by running her tongue along her teeth. )
I know what it's like to lose people. More than anyone else here... I was just. ( a beat. ) I just didn't want to feel that. I'm tired of feeling that...
( she mumbles the last sentence, her voice weakening and in quivers. the only pain she wishes to see is upon others who done her wrong, not on herself. never on herself. )
no subject
Later though...]
This isn't the undercity, so I doubt few would appreciate the eclectic display of artistic talent born from such a place. If I know you, you didn't add such things with the intent to offend.
[He reached out a hand to touch the back of hers holding onto some of her hair. Then he gently closed his hand around her wrist and gave a small tug, a request to stop hurting herself.]
I know. There is a lot to lose here, it seems.
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she wants to stay angry at him, and yell at him for taking so long to get back to her when her world twisted dark. but it was hard to when he's this gentle, and to not feel guilty when he's still wearing a shiner and carrying bruises. jinx should be tending to them and not... being like this. she made a vow to herself to be better for him -- to be a better daughter -- and this is the opposite of becoming the better version of herself. so his prodigy lifts her head up finally, eyes round yet sorrowful. )
... I'm sorry I couldn't save you.
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It felt good. It shouldn't, but it did. He was allowed such selfishness now and again, wasn't he?
His touch remained around her wrist even as her head lifted. He met her gaze with his own mismatched one, regarding her pink eyes that spoke of some of her hardship few knew about. He issued a low humming noise at her apology. He gave a little tug to see if she would sit up completely from her bed of leaves.]
There is nothing to apologize for. My sentencing would have come either that day or another soon after. [His thumb stroked the inside of her wrist.] It was a good reminder that there will never be peace. The first move is done; I'll finish this charade very soon.
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with her free hand, she takes a hold of his hand to pry off, but only so he can rest his palm against her cheek. and when it's there, she leans into it with her eyes shut to inhale the sense of feeling cared for, feeling wanted, and needed. silco left her alone for too long, sure, but... at least he came back and it wasn't years later down the line. ... like she is starting to suspect qunetin to follow the footsteps of her dear sister. )
... What's your task?
no subject
They only had each other. Everyone else betrayed them. Apart from communication misunderstandings, he enjoyed the idea that they were loyal to one another still.
He didn't fight her prying his hand off, seeing no reason to force contact she may not be ready for. He sighed from his nose when she placed his hand to her cheek, and he lifted the other to cup her other cheek willingly. Maybe it was his one a month show of physical affection or something.]
I've learned the year is coming to a close. Like each year passing to a new one, there may be celebration. What do you think of fireworks, Jinx?
[He meant literal fireworks, but also, he was perfectly willing to push for explosives. He'd play the Council's game for his sentencing, but that didn't mean he wouldn't exact his revenge through his daughter.]
And next time, you come with me where I go, if you choose to. We'll deal with our problems together. If you wish, I'll put together missions for you.
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silco told her plenty of times how she is strong and jinx knows she is strong, but right now, just for right now... she's okay with him carrying all the strength and power between the two of them. for now, her father can have all the control and carry the torch while she follows behind him and rests. because she is beyond exhausted, and she wants a moment where she doesn't have to think about anything anymore. and she allows herself to show that side to him, her pupils are glossy but pale when she opens them, her head puts a little more weight into his hands, and her shoulders slumps a little more forward. jinx says nothing to his words (yet), because honestly speaking has become a little overrated these days. however, she nods to him sluggishly as she shut her eyes again to focus more into her breathing and to his touch. )
I can help you with your sentencing... or whatever.
( she mutters this, another light nuzzle to his right palm and then to his left. if it weren't for her sitting up, she could easily fall asleep for a thousand hours like this. )
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As much as he wanted nothing more than to wash the travel grime and last few days from his skin, that time would have to wait. Jinx needed him more than he needed to soak bruised muscles and ego, and so even plans for the not-so-distant future were put aside as she nuzzled into his palms with her cheeks. He had mocked and jeered Vander for such attachments, only to eventually walk the same path. It was a stark reminder that he wasn't in this world for repenting or a second chance; he was here to set a world where his daughter could exist and thrive and be at her best in whatever form that took.
He turned his head to look behind him to eye the couch nearby.]
That won't be necessary. The sentencing is laughable.
[Instead, he removed one hand from her cheek to curl his arm around the back of her shoulders to pull her in against his side. Once he had secured his daughter, he grabbed the edge of the blanket over her nest of leaves and gave it a shake out in the air before covering her with it. That done, he shifted them back towards the couch where he could lean on it while still sitting on the floor, stifling a grunt of discomfort to the process.]
Let's get you comfortable. You need rest.
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... Sometimes I feel like I don't belong in this place.
( she admits, after a little while of silence, thinking now would be the time to open up more about their previous discussion. )
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You don't. Neither do I. This is not our city, our life, our culture. We are stranded in a place that is mostly unwelcoming surrounded by people who don't care and could never understand what it is that made us. So we are outcasts, and that is fine.
[Maybe he should keep the speeches shorter, but he wanted to assure her that he understood. It also gave him an insight to her mental state.]
Are your friends a temporary arrangement?
no subject
( she answers, maybe a little too quickly than she wanted it to. jinx lifts her head up to her father, her eyes large but with heartbreak lingering within them. )
My friends are my friends. They're just... ( a brief pause, lowering her head back to his chest. she is doing her best to not get worked up again because that's all she's been doing for the last... who knows. ) — This whole thing about what to do with the Rumpies and stuff got 'em all so... mixed up. Feeling all kinds of gunk.
( jinx would like to hope, despite the arguments she had with a few of them, they are still friends. but she is known for her "jinx" to get in a way whenever she debates with another person. her shoulder slumps further, suddenly getting an overwhelming sense of being defeated. )
... I miss Quentin.
( his daughter knows just uttering quentin's name might hit a sour spot, but... she's been acting so snarky and tough about his disappearance for a while now. and that is growing tiresome too. )
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So you're having a difference of opinion with them. That's natural. Even more so here, people have varied life experiences. [He had noted a lot more strong opinions one way or another while he was reading through the comments and listening to people's tone of voice.] People are angry. Their reaction is to fight.
[He managed to keep his expression from going sour at the mention of the boy, but only for Jinx's sake. He had promised himself that he would let her make her own mistakes; it's just if this was Zaun, that body would weighed down at the bottom of the Pilt.]
He's idiot enough to return and probably take little responsibility. You deserve better; however, if that's who you think is a good match, you'll simply have to wait for him. You know you can tell me anything you choose to regarding him or anyone else.
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I... —
( jinx starts, her heart thumping a little in her chest. )
I dunno. I like to think we are. We're so much alike and like a lotta of the same things. And I...
( she buries her face in his jacket further, definitely muttering the rest. )
... I think I love him. M-Maybe? I want to hurt him so much, but... I wanna keep him too. I just... I just want to burn everything down so he would come out and notice me again.
cw: two human shaped red flags talking
He did wrinkle his nose a little at the l-word, but he held his tongue. It wasn't for him to say he knew the depths of her emotional attachment, even if her previous history of attachments had plenty of people raising an eyebrow.]
Possessiveness is natural when so much has been taken from you. However, I would advise against grand bonfires or explosions to draw him out. [He sighed from his nose. He couldn't believe he was going to say this, but...] He'll come to you when he's ready, I expect. And if he doesn't come, then he wasn't true to you and never intended to be.
[He tightened his grip on her shoulders in an attempt to be comforting.]
Then you can burn everything so he comes out of hiding. [A silent insinuation of all that bad things that would come after that event followed, of course.]
cw: just two crazy people talking
But I've been waiting. I've been waiting this whole time.
( her protest comes out squeakier than intended as she rubs her face to his chest. this is so damn frustrating to deal with. jinx would understand if he needed time, if their relationship were going through some trouble. and they had that one bump that one night, but it got smooth over. but everything was fine before they lost connection, and she knows he isn't hurt otherwise scott would have said so. )
It's been weeks, and I ... I need to hear him.
( there's desperation coated in her tone, and this time, she is apathetic about to hide it. the voices aren't... afraid of him, per se, but they stay at bay when he's around. they've learned the hard way that quentin possess the ability to mute them for a short amount of time, and needless to say, they don't like that too much. so whenever he makes himself known in her head, the dead shy away and perch themselves in the corner of her mind. )
I can't stand it like this. — I have to hear him.
( there's a lot of emphasis on the "need" and "have", which all the while, possibly showing their little telepathic talks silco had witnessed a few times during dinner, might have rolled down to a clingier path. )
cw: this is fine
There had been a time a long, long time ago when he recalled such all consuming obsession. It was hot and uncomfortable, spreading from his chest to his brain like an infection and then sliding down limbs until it took over everything. He'd been young - still driven - but far more easily distracted. He'd desired and pined and waited impatiently. Back then, finding a partner wasn't difficult, but seemingly finding the right one was.
That was a long time ago, and good riddance to the emotions. Now it was far less complicated to buy one of the by-products of love by the hour.
Still, her teenage angst was something he could understand, even if the idea of her and that boy together made the back of his throat burn with acid. No, he wasn't going to throw up over her little obsessive love affair over someone not worth her time, energy or affections.]
He chases the demons away, I expect, which is more what you think you need. You forget that they are part of you, and they will never truly go away. You've simply replaced your many personal demons with a single one that has now left you behind.
[Silco had extreme reactions to betrayal, and even the idea this boy had betrayed his daughter's trust was enough for him to want that one dead. Or maybe, on a level he wouldn't admit, he didn't like the competition for her attention. He wouldn't be self reflective today to admit to it.]
If he hasn't answered you by the change of the year, we'll find you someone who can respect you. Letting this one have such a hold on you will eat you up, Jinx, and I never would want that for you.
cw: things might go a little sideways from here + nsfw slightly mentioned in narrative
her heart downfalls to the bottom of her stomach over his ultimatum proposal. is he suggesting they should... break up if he doesn't come to her by the new year? and to find someone else? the consideration of that possibility becoming her new reality sends her in a slight panic. his daughter lifts her head up to face her father with wide eye of distress and anxiety. yeah, she has it bad for the guy. because to find someone else? there is no one else. no one else in this disgusting place will like her for her (a lot of the chosen find her indifferent), or can... cancel out her "jinx" with theirs. he is hers and she is his, they made that extremely official. )
... But he said I'm perfect.
( correction: he told her she was perfect in the middle of sex. but naturally, jinx took that statement way beyond than what it was really intended. and even then during their love making, they fit together, which all the more reason she believes they belong (not at all because he is male, and she is female, and his reproduction organ is designed to go in the female reproduction organ). )
cw: sideways indeed
Thankfully, they had the benefit of experience and history with one another this time, so he liked to think that he was better prepared for assisting her with her mental demons than he had been back then. She did seem further tormented, but he had seen he recover before so this was a hiccup.
His mismatched gaze shifted to regard her when her head lifted, and he noted the panic on her expression. He was mostly unsympathetic, knowing it was for the best to cut that one out before it could go too long. Short term pain, fine, but there were plenty of better prospects in this place. Besides, maybe he died on the island and hadn't returned. Heroic and all that nonsense.
Yet, he was caught off guard at her words, stiffening where he leaned on the couch. He did not currently have the emotional or mental capacity to hold his expression in its normal neutrality. He swore he tasted bile at the back of his throat. His jaw worked for two instances as he tried to master himself.]
You already knew that before meeting him. Does that mean you believe it when he says it?
[Teenage love drama is the absolute worst.]
cw: AAAAAAAA
No! Nonononono. — I've always believed you when you've said it...!
( she shakes her head in a panic, indicating what he's implying is so far from the truth. jinx peels herself off of her father to sit with more sincerity, fixating in his mismatched pupils. )
Always, always, always! Your words mean SO much to me, Silco.
( she's hurting him... again. only this time, it's not physically but emotionally. her shaky hands reach to cup both of his cheeks, so he wouldn't dare to look away from her... or run away from her. )
W-We're family, remember?
( the anxious smile and the light chuckle she gives him is so out of place, but she's not sure what else to do, or to prove that she never took his words for granted. )
Y-You're my home. You'll always be my home. ...I..I love you. No one will ever replace what we have, okay?
cw: broken people being broken
If he had rested and maybe been a touch less sore, maybe he wouldn't be quite so sour. He might not be in a habit of running away - he'd been certain to establish that very early in their relationship so she knew he would be there even when she drove him to temper. And there was no where to go anyway.
In the state she was in, it was unfair and even cruel to consider getting up and walking away even to clear his head. So he didn't consider it an option. He would never turn his back on her.]
I know. I don't fault you for establishing connections beyond us, but I want to protect you. [He refrained from usual 'everyone betrays us' mantra, wincing as her hands cupped his cheeks.] I dislike seeing you in such distress. I dislike thinking he uses my words on you, and if this relationship fails, the words will be tainted.
[He lifted a hand to lightly curl his fingers around her wrist. He couldn't look away, but he could close his blue eye - it was rather swollen anyway.]
You are my reason for being here, my reason to brings this place under our control. To give you the home you deserve, the home I promised all of Zaun. It will always be you.
cw: we need glue to fix these broken people
They won't. They won't because you've said it first. There's no... — ( jinx pauses, sucking her lips as she attempts to put what she is feeling in the correct phrasing. ) — There will be no other guy who will be more important to me than you.
( shit. she's not even sure if that came across well, either. huffing out a trembling breath, jinx smiles nervously at him again in her desperate attempt to smooth all of this over. or... at least make all of this go away. )
Let's not talk about him or this anymore. Let's just... just focus on us tonight. N-No work, or what's going on out there, or anyone else, just us. ... You and me, okay?
cw: when emotional constipation turns into diarrhea
Just... be careful who you give your heart to. I may not earn those words, but I did what I thought was right to bring you up to the heights you're at. [And if she was broken down with similar words, he would surely do something deadly.] I'll be here until the day I can't be.
[His shoulders twitched and his neck tightened subtly as her thumbs stroked over bruises, some of them hidden by road dirt and grime. He didn't stop her, of course.]
We shouldn't avoid this topic because it upsets us, Jinx. I need to know that you will be alright, or I need to know what you need from me to be alright, if it's something I can help with.
[He opened his eye to peer at her.]
When was the last time you slept though?
cw: dats nassy, yo
Heh, I'll be alright. As long as we're together, I'll be alright. And who needs sleep anyway? It's for the birds.
( which is a translation for: 'i don't remember'. gingerly, however, her hands peel away from his cheeks to rest them in her lap. )
You oughta get cleaned up, and I'll get the kit and some ice.
yw
Everyone needs sleep. You looked like you might sleep against me not that long ago.
[He gave a tug to her wrist before releasing it as she moved them away from his face. He shifted where he sat on the floor to find a new more comfortable position. He wanted a bath and a few hours of sleep very much, but no, it would wait.]
I can do that later. You need some rest.
[He also might fall asleep with her so close, knowing they could and would guard each other.]
:|
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ok i think im doing editing...............
cw: casual talk of gun violence
cw: casual talk of gun violence
cw: casual talk of gun violence
cw: casual talk of gun violence
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🎀 ???
fin