expiationlogs | It's this air and time that's bringing me home again

[It's hard to say if him and Yosuke are 'friends' yet, since one of the conversations he had with him was during the whole hot springs fiasco. But no matter his feelings about that matter, Scott's truly glad to see him, a small little laugh joining Yosuke's, mostly out of relief. He's really back. Hearing him speak truly sort of affirms that, like he's not some ghost wandering Aldrip.

Scott's not naïve enough to think he's 100% fine after dying and everything, but things feel a little normal again.

His smile fades a little hearing that last comment, as it's a small reminder of what happened, but he swallows past his building feelings to give him a nod. Yosuke's a pretty good guy and everything, huh?]

...Thanks, I'm glad too. [Scott lapses into silence for a moment, his teeth lightly chewing on his lip as he works up the next thing he wants to say.] I'm sorry that we couldn't get you out.

[Yosuke shrugs, fiddling with the hem of his shirt in a sort of nervous way. even though he's gotten used to talking about feelings with the Investigation Team back home, it's still... kinda weird to be talking about them with a stranger. not that Scott isn't cool or anything, but still.]

It's fine. [he smiles sadly.] I'd do it all over again if it meant you guys were safe.

[cute...]

[At least he's not the only one that feels awkward right now. Although, it feels like he should be the one that's more supportive or at least somewhat stable, given the fact that he wasn't the one to fucking bite it--

The corner of his mouth twitches upward for a moment, although it mostly fades into a small grimace because man, Yosuke really is a self-sacrificing guy, isn't he? Not that he thought of him as a coward or anything, but he really gave up his life for everyone else. It wasn't just talk.]

If we could do it again, I'd want everyone to make it out. [He wants that to happen next time, whenever that 'next time' occurs. Scott sort of got the gist by now that things won't be safe here for long, but at least he can be better prepared, right? So his friends don't die.

Although he still can't guarantee that. And... that just sucks. It's such a shitty realization and he hates it.]

But that was really something, Yosuke. [He rubs the back of his head, trying to stop himself from looking too upset in front of him.] You know everyone's gonna make sure that you don't end up sacrificing yourself again, right? Including me.

[yeah, he may be the world's ultimate asshole or screw up, but he would never want anything to happen to his friends. ever. even if some part of himself didn't hate himself, he still wouldn't let it happen.

that's why it was all such an easy decision.]

Yeah, I've heard a lot from Yu already.

[it... makes him feel some sort of warm that these people care so much about him. just a few months ago, they were all strangers to him, and he only knew Yu. he thought that the Investigation Team must've surely been a fluke, but... here he is. making those sorts of friends that actually care about him again.

it makes a lump form in his throat. maybe he was really was being capable of being accepted, dumb and weird as he is.]

I want everyone to make it out, too. I can't guarantee that I won't try it again if it keeps everyone safe, but... it's kind of comforting to know I won't bite it forever too.

[he had to try to make some sort of bad joke in there.]

[Scott can't help but briefly wonder what Yu's told Yosuke, but that's none of his business. He's not so nosy enough to ask because it's probably between them, just two really close friends from their home. Scott's glad that they have each other, he gets how much it sucks to be in a place without anyone that you know.

It used to bother him, but not anymore.]

Hey man, haven't you heard, you only get to sacrifice yourself once. Let others step up. [He weakly jokes, because it's not really fun to imagine anyone biting it for the sake of others, but Scott presses on.] Maybe we'll eventually get to start a new club.

[Jesus that was morbid, he cringes at his words, his face pulling downward.]

Sorry, that was stupid. Forget that.

[Yosuke laughs a little bit at that, and shakes his head.]

Dude, that sounds like something I'd say.

[which means it's terrible and kinda tone-deaf. but he understands what Scott's trying to do.]

We'll get to fight over who gets to sacrifice themselves when the time comes. At least we know we can come back, right?

[The laugh loosens more of that weight that's been knotted in his chest, just glad that the other teen can still do that. Also, laughing at his dumb comment instead of getting hurt or something is nice. Scott hasn't yet entered the awkward territory, or at least, 'haven't made things worse.']

Y-yeah, guess that's kind of cool? We don't really have to worry about dying for good in this place.

[It's kind of scary too though, because things shouldn't really work that way. People don't just come back to life. Scott's not complaining, far from it, but it's all fucking weird. Like, what does that even mean here?? It's too much thinking though.]

But uh, I think we should try to still prevent it as much as possible.

[listen... he is the king of bad jokes and taste, so how would he even get mad about something like that?

Yosuke nods in agreement, though.]

Definitely. It was... was kind of scary to go through. It's probably not something we should play with, just in case.

[what if they think that it's going to all be fine, and the next person stays dead? better not press their luck.]

What was it like?

[The question slips through his mouth before he really has the time to stop himself, because honestly, that thought has been on his mind since talking to Yosuke. It's truly something he's kind of curious about, in that morbid sense of way, but as quickly as that question comes out, Scott cringes once more.

This is truly a foot in mouth day for him.]

Sorry, Yosuke. [He exhales slowly.] I'm really fucking this up, aren't I?

[Yosuke just shrugs.]

I mean, it's kinda natural to be curious about that sort of thing, right? Even if it's morbid.

[people always say that talking about their trauma helps. the jury's still out on that one in his opinion, but maybe he should say something to someone.]

It was a lot, all at once. A lot of pain... and I was watching Yu and the rest of you guys get off the island. And then there was nothing -- that is, until I woke up in my bed again. It was like I woke up from a nightmare or something. But I knew I had died. I knew I hadn't dreamed it.

[Geez, he's really lucky that Yosuke is pretty cool with all this. Or just as stupid as him--]

Really? Just... nothing?

[Scott bites his lip, taking in that information with narrowed eyes, even though they remain hidden behind his shades. Guess it's not too surprising in a way, like what did he expect to hear? Yosuke admitting that he was a ghost and tried to grab everyone's attention through his ghostly wails? No, probably not. He shifts slightly on his feet, trying to think of what to really say.]

And there are no... scars or anything? [And it's clear that Yosuke has all his limbs, so. His body was just brought back to perfect health? Really freaky.]

[definitely stupid.

but he shakes his head.]

You probably don't wanna see me without my shirt off, but no scars. Kind of like I hit a "game over" and just reset in the house with Yu.

[a beat. because he had been in a video game scenario once.]

That's... that wouldn't just happen though, right? Video games aren't real.

[.........dude.]

Do you think we're in a video game???

[SCOTT GENIUNELY ASKING because he never thought about that before. That's like, next level weirdness!! At least he's better graphics than Pac-Man and he feels just like himself... not to mention that everything feels so real.

There were also those funky static things happening with the monsters near the snake village too. He hasn't forgotten about that and that sort of fits with the video game concept.]

Wait, but wouldn't that mean we'd only have a certain amount of 'lives' before... completely dying?

[... he actually hadn't thought about it at all until this moment. maybe he's on to something, here. it'd explain at least the death thing.]

I dunno. You think someone's keeping count of our deaths like we're Mario or something somewhere?

[uh.]

That's creepy as hell to think about, not gonna lie.

I think so? Both you and Izuku came back to life, so it's clear that they're keeping track of us at least. Although, I don't think this applies to the people in the village and everything... I think when they die, they stay dead.

[What the hell does that mean then??? Does that mean the person who's controlling all this is only bringing back certain people? Or are they just different because they're 'Chosen' and shit?

Man, thinking about this really sucks. Why can't they just have normal existential crisis? Scott thought that being in a video game would be cooler, but no, it's actually kind of terrible.]

Yeah, if they came back too... then they would've come back a long time ago.

[a shiver runs down his spine.]

Man, this is going to give me a headache to try to figure out.

[This is definitely too much thinking for one day, especially since one of them just came back from being dead. Time to just shove it in the back of his mind and deal with it later. Not like pondering about the meaning of life is going to help them right now.

Scott shifts, almost sighing, before nodding at Yosuke.]

I agree, so let's just forget about it for now. Besides, you got a sandwich to eat and everything. Being in a video game isn't going to change how good it's gonna be.

[Yosuke grins a bit.]

Yeah. We can think about it later, if we get more information. It was good seeing you though, Scott.

It's this air and time that's bringing me home again

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