expiationlogs | then new life has lumps

[ Sandry shakes her head. ]

Thread magic itself isn't very common, though magic is. Most common magic is in planned spells, unlike mine which comes from the materials around me. What about you? What kind of magic is in your world?

[ Ange is quiet for a faint moment. It's not even that she doesn't want to tell Sandry, it's just-- well, if anything is complicated out there, it's the exact nature of magic in the place Ange comes from. It's almost more philosophical than magical. ]

There's all kinds. Most witches specialize in one sort of magic though. I know a witch of miracles, who can make anything at all happen, as long as there's even the tiniest chance of it being possible. Her magic is being able to make it happen, as long as it isn't entirely impossible.

[ It may sound a touch confusing or vague, but really, it's the most clear example Ange can pull out here. Anything else is often even vaguer or more complicated. ]

I'm not even sure if you could call what she does a spell, really. And I've never seen her use any sort of materials either. She just makes it happen. [ In fact, to give a more clear example, she adds-- ] I jumped off a skyscraper, and because she was with me I just survived that.

[ Sandry is looking at Ange in shock after that last line. ]

But you told me how tall those are! Why ever did you jump off one?

[ That's her hang up here. ]

[ ... Ah.

Maybe she should have thought a little bit more about how that's the obvious follow up question to what she said, huh. The reason itself is kind of awkward to share with someone she doesn't know well, after all. Even more so since Sandry seems so.. relatively sweet? Kind of innocent, really. Not the sort of person who should be bothered with stories like that.

Maybe that's why the girl goes quiet again, but rather than looking like she has to think of how to explain something, she just looks awkward. Reluctant to share. ]

.. Why do you think people jump off high places?

[ She finally asks, slowly. Perhaps wanting to see if Sandry will arrive at the right conclusion or not. It'd take some of the awkwardness out of it. ]

[ Sandry waits and notices the silence. Perhaps it was an indelicate question, though she's not sure why. But she's observant enough to grasp the reason for the silence, and polite enough to offer a way out. ]

Perhaps you were trying to escape from something? I cannot think of another reason, but if you do not wish to talk about it then please do not feel like you must share.

[ She says it with a gentle smile and means every word. ]

[ She shakes her head a little. Granted, it's not really like Sandry is wrong. Even if Ange didn't jump from there to escape someone, she has jumped off lower stories before for that exact reason..

But it's not like she wants Sandry to have the impression that jumping off an entire skyscraper is a good way of escaping anyone. Especially now Aldrip seems to be getting more modern, which means - in turn - that the buildings are getting taller too. ]

No, it's fine.

[ Even if Ange doesn't often talk about this, it's not that she can't. The more awkward part about it is trying to be sensitive about it for Sandry's sake, really. ]

Trying to escape that way would be a bad idea. If you jump from that high up, then you-- well, you just die. [ That's the important part to tell the other, at least. Even if it might make the conclusion - to Ange, anyway - a little more obvious. Obvious enough to add: ] That's what I wanted to happen when I jumped.

[ Sandry gives a small frown at that. She's heard of people before, who killed themselves for one reason or another, she's just never spoken to anyone before that's tried. She's never given it much thought and even now that she's thinking about it, they still seem... far away and shadowy. A nebulous concept. Not like the girl sitting next to her, who explained to her what skyscrapers are and told her about this world.

What does she say? Why did you want to die? No, that seems too personal. Do you still want to die? Also too personal. I'm glad you didn't die. That seems too shallow, while she is glad she also doesn't know Ange very well.

—Sandry realizes that she's been quiet and thoughtful for too long, so she gives Ange a gentle look and settles on: ]

I'm glad you had someone who cared enough to save you.

[ At least Ange doesn't look very worried or offended by the other girl's silence. She gets that it's not that easy to hear about this stuff - especially when Sandry seems relatively unused to it. Maybe it's more of a modern thing. It's not like anyone could jump off a skyscraper in Sandry's world when they don't even exist, after all.

.. but when the other does speak up and says that, something definitely wry enters Ange's expression. ]

I don't really think that's the case. The witch who saved me only did so because she wanted to kill me with her own hands later. [ .. Ange shrugs a little.

Like it doesn't matter. It does matter, of course, but she would love to act nonchalant about this. Like she isn't hurting. ]

I've never met a witch before I could actually trust.

Edited 2024-05-30 08:53 (UTC)

[ Sandry frowns again. That sounds... pretty awful, actually. She can't imagine such a scenario, it's a little too horrific. Wanting to die, and then not dying because someone wants to kill you later? Ange seems very nonchalant about the scenario but Sandry can't quite get over it. ]

Did she change her mind later? Are all witches that awful?

[ Ange is alive so... maybe. Or maybe she escaped in some way. ]

Where I come from.. most are.

[ When she first set off on her journey, she would have said it's all of them without hesitation. At this point it's.. a little more complicated, and not even just because Ange is one of them, nor because of her meeting other magic users like Sandry here.

(And, let's be real - Ange doesn't think Sandry is anything like the witches back home. Not even a little bit.) ]

I'm not sure why it is. At first I assumed that ending up with great powers like that just makes people want to abuse them and act like jerks, but you have magic, and you seem perfectly nice. [ ...

It feels a little awkward, having said that so straightforwardly.. especially since Ange usually doesn't do compliments. But this is just objectively true, right? She's pretty sure anyone would call Sandry generally nice. ] So I don't know what else it could be.

[ Sandry beams at the compliment. She does her best to be "perfectly nice" and is glad to hear it from someone. ]

Thank you for thinking so! Maybe there's someone teaching witches to be mean where you're from? Perhaps it's something learned rather than innate.

[ Ange presses her lips tightly together for a moment. ]

I don't think so.

[ Sure, it's.. technically possible? In some cases it might even be likely. But Ange also thinks there's definitely a handful of witches who are just like that without any external input.

On the other hand, she's not too surprised to hear these sorts of words from Sandry. The other girl is so nice, of course she'd try to think of even an excuse for mean people like that. ]

I'd say you would realise that if you saw one of them, but.. honestly, I think it's much better for this place if they'd never show up. They would just mess everything up and hurt people.

[ Sandry gives a small frown. She doesn't like to think that people are just evil like that, but... certainly some people are. Enahar certainly was. But all of them? Still, she doesn't want to disbelieve Ange. How could she claim to know better than someone's personal experience? Instead she offers a smile. ]

I hope they never come here so we don't have to deal with them. We need to be working together to resolve whatever is happening here, not fighting with each other. Life is easy here, but it's also... I would like to go home, some day.

[ She's never voiced that out loud. Sandry likes to remain positive about everything, but perhaps something in Ange's honesty has made her a bit more honest as well. For once Sandry seems a bit subdued. ]

[ It's not like she knows that it's only the first time Sandry has said it - but there is something about the other's tone that does give Ange the impression that she at least hasn't said it all that often before.

It makes the redhead turn her head to slowly look at Sandry, something in her gaze softening. It feels worse that someone like Sandry is trapped here, honestly. She's so nice. It makes the entire dumb premise of this place make less and less sense. If anyone doesn't belong here, it's Sandry. ]

It's okay. I also want to go back.

[ Despite the not-so-rosy description Ange just gave of her world - it's true. She hasn't thought of a moment about staying here. ]

I've been trying to find a way. I can't say I've exactly made a whole lot of progress so far, but.. when I find out more, I could let you know. [ It's the thing Ange usually only shares with other people she finds smart. With the other people looking into this thing.

But Sandry is so nice that Ange thinks the other just.. deserves the information. It's a bit of a strange and new thought to her, but she can feel it settle within her. ]

[ The smile that Sandry gives Ange has a softer edge than most of her other ones, not quite so cheerful but still carries warmth. Her voice carries the same tone. ]

Thank you, I appreciate that. I must admit, I feel somewhat unprepared for the circumstances here. People talk about this being a simulation, but even though it's been explained to me I have trouble grasping the concept. I wish I could do more here but I don't even know where I would begin. I'm just trying to help out in small ways where I can.

It's probably easier to see it as a form of magic.

[ After all, that seems like it might be more familiar of a concept to Sandry. And even though Ange certainly isn't a simulation expert or anything - she's only from 1998, after all, and she's never even managed to touch most more advanced forms of technology back home - she's got a decent enough grasp on the idea that she knows the comparison isn't that far off.

Especially when magic comes in so many different forms in the first place. ]

Like a magical construct. Someone shaping a world around us with magic. That probably makes more sense to you, right? [ Hey, Ange is always glad for more people wanting to help and wanting to figure this out - so if she can help Sandry get more familiar with their situation this way, then maybe the other can help out more in the end too. Not to mention that Ange wouldn't want Sandry to be left in the dark after being so nice to her. Explaining this to her in a hopefully more understandable way feels like a win-win situation.

Especially when they're both witches. Ange can probably understand the other's point of view better than most because of it, she thinks, even if Ange herself doesn't come from some older or more fantasy-like world. ]

then new life has lumps

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cw: implied suicidal ideation

sandry does not get it and will be clumsy about handling it, just a heads up!

thank you for the heads up! <3

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